Lolita Davidovich

In 1973 PBS aired the first reality documentary of a family in Santa Barbara, The Louds. This was the first of its kind; the Louds were very innocent as to how editing 100 hours of tape into 12 shows can skew everyone's perception of himself or herself. It started innocently enough.

Patricia Loud (Diana Lane) is invited by her friend,(Kathleen Quinlan) Barbara, to lunch at their country club, but unbeknownst to her she is really there to meet Barbara's friend, Craig Gilbert (James Gandolfini). Craig is a documentary filmmaker who has just finished a documentary about Margret Mead, which Pat has seen and can quote back to him. There is an instant spark between them. Barbara tells Pat that Craig is looking for the ideal family for his documentary and he chose hers out of all the other families Barbara showed him. Barbara said she has to think about it and later that night discusses it with her shovel tooth salesman husband, Bill (Tim Robbins).

When Pat is standing in the bathroom and sees Bill's clean hair brush, she knows he has been fooling around again which we find out later he has been doing for years. Bill's excuse is that one of his client's sons brushed their golden retriever with it so he cleaned it. To change the subject, Bill says that coming home today he thought their family playing in the yard looked like the west coast Kennedy's. Then Pat decides to tell Bill about the show. Her motive is to appeal to Bill's vanity that with a camera crew following their every move he will be at home more and not philandering around which she suspects, but has no proof. Their eldest son, Lance (Thomas Dekker), has just recently moved to NYC to find himself and Craig thinks that Pat's trip to visit him will be a great place to start filming. So off Pat goes with camera crew in tow to visit Lance, a very flamboyant young man who is staying at the Chelsea hotel. He has put her on the eighth floor instead of next door to him which is odd, but Lance says it's so she can have a big room so she can make big entrances like Loretta Young. Like I said flamboyant!!! He even takes her to a Drag show full of transvestites at La Mama. The main one throws him flowers and Lance says that's Andy Warhol's muse, Candy. Pat says "The one that wants to marry you?" and Lance says "Yes" to which Pat says "Who is a man?' and Lance says "Well, I haven't said yes yet. " Now this is all being filmed so Pat asks Lance if he meant to take her there and it all be filmed and he bold facedly says "Of Course" to which Pat leaves. I'm not sure if Lance is trying to use this filming to get his father to accept him and talk about it, but in 1973 you may have a gay son, but you didn't discuss it in public much less let the world film it.

Craig meets her outside and pleads for Craig not to make her family look foolish right out of the gate. He agrees but doesn't hold to it. Pat goes home and is greeted by Bill at the airport with a rose which we know is all for the camera. They didn't get it on film the first time so he does the gesture and kiss again and asks did you get that. Poor pat so desperate for Bill's attention takes it whether it's real or not, but when Bill asks her if she would like to get some lunch Pat quips, "On camera or off, Bill?" On the way to lunch, they are stop to see Val (Lolita Davidovich), a dress shop owner and family friend, who wants to give Pat a whole new outfit with hat, purse, and shoes to match. Pat asks Val why and Val says "So America can see my new spring line and Bill promised me a costuming credit." To which Pat replies "Ah, That Bill, always full of promises."

Now why is Bill talking to Pat's friend, Val, while Pat is in NYC ??? HMMMM

At lunch Bill, uses the opportunity on camera to look like the concerned Dad. He has just found out that Pat is letting the kids get away with murder, the boys don't know the value of a dollar, and their daughter Delilah, is staying out till 2:00 am on a school night. Pat says she wants to raise her kids to go after their dreams and be happy. Then Bill replies they should have learned the difference between right and wrong implying they haven't been taught that by Pat while Bill's away on his business trips. Pat, sick of Bill's charade, leans in and says if you bait me again about my children in front of the camera you will be very, very sorry. Alan (Patrick Fugit) and Susan (Shanna Collins) Raymond, the young camera man and sound person,husband and wife, both slowly realize that Craig may have his own agenda for choosing this family and it is not what they signed on for. They wanted to be part of the French film movement Cinema Verite which just witnesses and films, but does not manipulate the subjects. They are right.

In the next couple of weeks Lance calls home from NYC to say he is going to Paris to be a street performer and everyone is supportive, but Bill says he is not going. There's no one to pay fro his trip. Bill then leaves again on another one of his business trips, but this time he comes home with horrible sunburn, which he attributes to standing on the mining site in 110-degree heat. While he has been gone, the boys Grant (Nick Eversman) and Kevin (Johnny Simmons) who have their own band have saved all their money to build a bandstand in the backyard for a party they are going to film. They show their dad so proud and wanting him to be proud. He asks them where they got the money and they said from mom from doing choses and Bill says so it's my money. He then tells Grant that he is going to pour cement in Orange County and Kevin you're going to Australia to drum up business with Big Tom. This is a true Bill parenting moment until he realizes he's on camera and just leaves.

Later Pat is putting lotion on Bill's neck and she notices that he is burned all down his back. He says he wasn't wearing a shirt in the heat. Pat confronts Bill saying we are doing this documentary because you said you would be home more and you keep running away. She asks him what he wants and he replies for you to look at me like I'm worth something to you. Pat then asks what do women need to which Bill says I think we both know I understand what women need. Pat starts slapping his back for reminding her and being proud of his past dalliances. The next day Pat decides to take Val up on her offer of a new outfit, but when Val comes from the back with the dress she has the same sunburn as Bill all down her back. She said she got it gardening for 2 and ½ days exactly how long Bill was gone. To save face in front of the camera, she buys one of everything in the store on Bill's credit card and tells Val she's taking the girls to Taos, Mexico. Pat then tells Val to make sure to be at the boys' concert this weekend since you're a member of the family. It turns out that Pat is using Val to keep Bill's attention so she can snoop through his drawers and pockets looking for evidence. In one of the pockets she finds a key, but she doesn't know what it is to.

Craig shows up at the party and lets it slip that he sent Lance to Paris with a camera crew. Bill acts like he is pleased his son is living his dream, but Pat is upset and wants to see all the footage to see what else is going on in her family that she doesn't know about. That night in bed Pat tells Bill she is taking the girls to Taos Mexico and the boys are taking the summer jobs. She wants everyone squared away while she is gone. When she leaves, Bill asks Alan and Susan if they want to film him down at the office, but they decline and at a last ditch effort for attention, Bill calls Craig and takes him for a drive to Malibu to meet Sally, the starlet, a true bimbo. Bill tells Craig that he wants him to see him as more than the pack mule who slaves so everyone else can live their dreams. It's so sad that this is the first glimpse of hurt and regret about his life. I figure he is trying to show off to Craige and considers him a kindred spirit since Craig's marriage collapsed also.

Not being able to resist a catalyst for the conflict to unfold Craig calls Pat in Mexico and tells her about Sally which she immediately tries to return home. Bill comes home knowing none of this, but by now the whole family is aware of his behavior. To change the subject, Bill offers to show the camera how he flips burgers for a Fiesta day, but no one wants to watch. Sad. Pat meets Craig at his hotel where she confesses she has been here before. She picked up a man in this very bar at Bill's insistence of trying an open marriage so he could continue screwing around without her catching him and the guilt. It would be all out in the open. Pat tried, but hated it. While Bill hits on every women at the La Fiesta. Pat shows up with Craig and confronts him on camera calling him all sorts of names. Alan and Susan have figured out somehow Craig has caused this confrontation and quit on the spot because it is against all the ethical rules of a documentary. Don't get involved with the subject just observe and document. Pat leaves and finds the courage to take the key she found to Bill's office and there she finds all the proof she needs of his affairs. He has souvenirs: pictures, swizzle sticks, napkins, matchbooks, and airline tickets - hundreds of them.

While Bill is on another of his trips Pat tells the kids and the camera that she wants a divorce and will ask Bill to leave. Then she decides to send Grant to the airport to tell Bill so he won't come to the house and she won't have to tell him in front of the camera. She doesn't want to embarrass him, but Grant doesn't do it. I don't know if he was afraid to tell his father or thought he deserves the humiliation. Bill shows up and Pat tells him she has a lawyer and he can call him tomorrow and that she wants him to get out. To save face in front of the camera, Bill makes a joke saying well I guess I don't have to unpack and asks the boys if they know the number to the Lemon Tree Hotel to which Kevin replies, there is already a room there for you. He tells Pat that if any of his business clients call to tell them where he is and leaves.

One year later "An America Family" airs to raves and harsh criticism mainly for thrusting a gay son on America and making Pat look like a shrew and Bill an alcoholic playboy. So in true Loud family fashion, the Loud's, Alan, and Susan go on every talk show they can to set the record straight as to what wasn't shown and that the disintegration of their marriage was helped along by Gilbert to achieve his agenda. The Loud's say they trusted Gilbert to show the truth, but what was shown was shown was only the juicy parts that showed everyone in a bad light.

Pat became an author and a press agent and Bill marries and divorces. Lance becomes the lead singer for the punk band "The Mumps" and wrote for Andy Warhol's "Interview" magazine. Kevin and Grant got many gigs for their band and Kevin now is an entrepreneur and Grant is senior promotions manager for "Jeopardy." Michele is a fashion designer, but quit to take care of Lance when he got HIV. Lance died of AIDS in 2005 and his dying wish, which was documented by the Raymond's, was for his parents to reunite which the did and now live happily together in LA.

In 1973, a wife desperate to hold her husband at home, a husband who still wanted to be young and cool and children who wanted to be stars decided to be in a documentary that turns their lives into a fishbowl. It was judged and torn apart by America. I believe that the Louds had innocent reasons to participate and I don't think things would have gone so bad so fast has Craige Gilbert not pushed and interfered so as to make the documentary juicier to fit his agenda of destroying the ideal of the American family or because he had designs on Pat Loud. Either reason was wrong. I believe the reasons that America tore them apart is because we as a culture don't like having our shortcomings shown to us. We would rather point out the bad in others, than look in the mirror to see our faults which we never want to take responsibility for. If this perfect family isn't perfect by having a gay son, the husband has affairs, the wife looks the other way with drinking and medications, and the kids misbehaving then what does it say about my family and me?

There is a German word for this behavior "schadenfreude" which means "A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others." We feel better about ourselves when we see bad things happen to others. The documentary unfortunately started the whole reality TV movement from Big Brother to Survivor to Jerry Springer. We can't get enough of watching other people's anguish to make ourselves feel better. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be a human. Animals at least are pure and honest in their actions.